New low: just hacked my moms facebook
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
zippers are such a cool invention
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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