do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
