ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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