just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
