I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
