I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
