there was a trapeze. enough said
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the room spins SO much faster in panama
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
