he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
