I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How does one acquire holy water?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
