that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize