I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
