Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
