u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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