You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
