Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
