i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
