There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
