Someone shit on the floor
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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