idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
