It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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