handjob tips. give me some.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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