Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize