Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
