So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
