Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
