if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
