i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
