I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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