what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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