dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
