why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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