Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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