Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize