Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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