Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
