if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
