life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
