everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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