I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
