There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
