Cold hands, warm shart.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
