They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We got so high we made milksteak
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
