I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize