god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
