But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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