make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize