she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
