Well douche your snatch and let's go!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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