shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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