After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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