I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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