Heybabeimwearingurpanties
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
