i just had sex bonerless
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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