If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
