He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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