my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Found your dick twin last night
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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