The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
