apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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