Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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