Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize