you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
sex in a hospital.. check
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
