i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
