Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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