Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
