so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
