'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
