thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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