It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
