watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
