So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
